Weird Thoughts

There are times when you don't know what to write, but you do. As a result, this post. I had many things in my mind, but not now :). Lets talk about thoughts, weird ones. It’s weird how time flies by, how we forget others with time, how others want to forget us with time. It’s weird how close we feel with someone very far away and how far we feel when we are close to someone. Sometimes it feels like ages have passed away and sometimes it feels it just happened yesterday. It’s weird right? A person so close is just a contact in your address book, which even you don’t remember its there. Sometimes I just surf around my address book to check whether I am still holding on or I have moved ahead. Most of the time I find myself holding on. Hope is weird too, it assures you of something will happen or someone will come back. You hope, you wait, you dream, you live, and then one day you forget everything when the hope fades away. Have you loved someone, have you not? Do you miss a part of your life, or do you realize that part even exist? Are you brave enough to face the truth or will you just pretend to be brave to move on? It will not matter after sometime. But it’s okay, this is life. It moves on, so do we, so does everyone. What we can do is, to be grateful for what happened, and LEARN. At the most, we can remember as long as we can because even if we do move on or forget, what we experienced(or felt) at the very moment was real/true, even if it was for once.

Lately I realized my loneliness has slowly and steadily changed into solitude. You might ask what is the difference? But that you can realize only if you have been through these phases. I can only tell you what I have realized. So, when you are alone and you fear to be alone again, that is loneliness. As Mother Teresa said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”. Now what this fear can lead you to? By affect of this fear, you try very hard to avoid being on your own, so you either trap yourself in an unfulfilled relationship by pursuing a wrong person or you do other weird things too :). My Loneliness has transformed into solitude. In words of Alfred Polgar , “When everyone leaves you it’s loneliness you feel, when you leave everyone else it’s solitude.” So now I enjoy being alone.

P.S. : To readers, so when did you last surfed you address book and found a contact which was once very important to you? And is your loneliness still a loneliness or solitude?

-- Atul

The writing here is solely a fictional work of Atul Rawat.